


you don't need a pretty face

by softlyblue



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Alternate Universe - Radio, Chatting & Messaging, M/M, Sexting, a chatfic with plot!, everyone else is just? there?, jae presents radio and brian is a solo idol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-01-18 09:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12385743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softlyblue/pseuds/softlyblue
Summary: Jae gets a wrong number, Brian gets a surprise, and they both end up with a world of complications.*kang younghyun: lemme get this straightkang younghyun: you are asking mekang younghyun: a strangerkang younghyun: to rate your penis out of 10unknown: yesunknown: is there a problem, Sirkang younghyun: …*





	1. ring the bell

**Author's Note:**

> this is all teenie's fault (and the rest of the day6 stans on twitter hii)
> 
> also i know chatfics are boring and bad and low-energy but i wanted to contribute to day6 before i DIED and this one does have a plot and it isn't memes! 
> 
> and i'm sorry for the formatting i tried my heckin' best

**kang younghyun & unknown** **  
** **(1.43am)**

**unknown:** **_[image]_ ** **  
** **unknown:** ;) hows this for a dong on your bell

 **kang younghyun:** who is this?

 **unknown:** cmon babe  
**unknown:** play along

 **kang younghyun:** i think you have the  
**kang younghyun:** nope you DEFINITelY  
**kang younghyun:** have the wrong number

 **unknown:** …  
**unknown:** FUCKUFCKUUKFcUKC

 **kang younghyun:** a dong  
**kang younghyun:** on my bell??????  
**kang younghyun:** yr sexting is weird

 **unknown:** but is the pic good  
**unknown:** how many /10 would bang

 **kang younghyun:** lemme get this straight

 **unknown:** haH strAIGHt

 **kang younghyun:** you are asking me  
**kang younghyun:** a stranger  
**kang younghyun:** to rate your penis out of 10

 **unknown:** yes  
**unknown:** is there a problem, Sir

 **kang younghyun:** …

 **unknown:** COMON TELL MEEEEe

 **kang younghyun:** like a 5/10  
**kang younghyun:** if yr gonna sext  
**kang younghyun:** you gotta be sexier

 **unknown:** i told him to ring my ding dong  
**unknown:** tug on my doorpull  
**unknown:** dong on my bell

 **kang younghyun:** dude  
**kang younghyun:** you gotta be like a blog post

 **unknown:** “hi im 14 im depressed hheres my dicc”

 **kang younghyun:** NO  
**kang younghyun:** show yr face and have a filter  
**kang younghyun:** meme captions  
**kang younghyun:** are such a turn off

 **unknown:** yes, o guru of Sext  
**unknown:** i shall Follow Ur Sex Guru Advice

 **kang younghyun:** ok good

 

**kang younghyun & DO NOT REPLY ** **  
** **(2.08am)**

**DO NOT REPLY:** [  
](https://78.media.tumblr.com/b0127c95ef026e35dffbbdc88e668728/tumblr_nyanulqhWg1ug8cf7o2_250.jpg) **DO NOT REPLY:** what would u do if u were here

 **kang younghyun:** i am Still The Wrong Number

 **DO NOT REPLY:** nope i want your advice  
**DO NOT REPLY:** too soft?  
**DO NOT REPLY:** advice me, sex guru

 **kang younghyun:** jesus h christ  
**kang younghyun:** yeah great  
**kang younghyun:** 100-0 real quick

 **DO NOT REPLY:** a turn off?

 **kang younghyun:** i didnt say that

 **DO NOT REPLY:** thanx 4 advice  
**DO NOT REPLY:** u da best sex guru

 **kang younghyun:** fuck off

 **DO NOT REPLY:** im gonna leave  
**DO NOT REPLY:** get some good cyber dicking

 **kang younghyun:** i never asked for this

  


**park jaehyung & park bernard** **  
** **(11.21am)**

**park bernard:** get up  
**park bernard:** get UP  
**park bernard:** GET UP YOU FUCK

 **park jaehyung:** give a guy a break

 **park bernard:** no  
**park bernard:** do you have anything prepped

 **park jaehyung:** fuuuuu  
**park jaehyung:** ill make it up

 **park bernard:** i s2g

 **park jaehyung:** uuuuuuuughH  
**park jaehyung:** i heard youngk news  
**park jaehyung:** i can talk abt that  
**park jaehyung:** is that enough prep 4 you

 **park bernard:** itll have to fuckind do  
**park bernard:** get to the station asap  
**park bernard:** producer wants staff meeting  
**park bernard:** i told him u were in the toilet

 **park jaehyung:** youre my best bro

 **park bernard:** just get out of bed

  


**brian & dicc mc queen ** **  
** **(12.54pm)**

**dicc mc queen:** dude did you change my name  
**dicc mc queen:** i swear 2 god  
**dicc mc queen:** quIT

 **brian:** stop changing mine and ill stop urs

 **dicc mc queen:** the difference is  
**dicc mc queen:** that brian is your actual name

 **brian:** i, a whole korean,

 **_[dicc mc queen changed their name to “dowoon”]_ ** **  
****dowoon:** look at us  
**dowoon:** mature adults with our names

 **brian:** yeah  
**brian:** yeah ofc i believe that  
**brian:** mature

 **dowoon:** just come to the studio sooner than later  
**dowoon:** new album isnt gonna write itself

 **brian:** yeah  
**brian:** slept funny last night  
**brian:** buy me a mocha and im yours

 **dowoon:** youre easy  
**dowoon:** why didnt u sleep  
**dowoon:** WAS IT A GIRL  
**dowoon:** A BOY

 **brian:** nope  
**brian:** just couldnt sleep  
**brian:** get me coffee

 **dowoon:** no fun hyung  
**dowoon:** wonpil is being annoying  
**dowoon:** i mean  
**dowoon:** he’s jsut bugging us abt u  
**dowoon:** so pls come soon

 **brian:** coffee then we talk

 **dowoon:** HYIGN G

 **brian:** hying

 **dowoon:** i will spit in your coffee

 **brian:** kid, have i ever told you how much i love you

  


**chicken man & cutest min ** **  
** **(1.15pm)**

**chicken man:** jiiiiiiIIIIIIIMIN  
**chicken man:** jiiiiIIIIIIiiiiIIIiiiIIMIN

 **cutest min:** stfu youre ON AIR  
**cutest min:** get OFF YOUR pHONE

 **chicken man:** pffft  
**chicken man:** the joys of radio  
**chicken man:** nobody can see what im doing

 **cutest min:** someday park  
**cutest min:** someday i will get u  
**cutest min:** on my show  
**cutest min:** then u cant text and work

 **chicken man:** arent you broadcasting rn

 **cutest min:** um no????? makeup  
**cutest min:** i start broadcast in like an hour  
**cutest min:** get ur head out of usa time

 **chicken man:** my homeland  
**chicken man:** the og timezone  
**chicken man:** nobody can replace  
**chicken man:** the OG TIMEZONE

 **cutest min:** youre such a meme

 **chicken man:** THE OG TIMEZOEN

 **cutest min:** zoen

 **chicken man:** shit g2g

 **cutest min:** yeah pls go do your ACTUal JOB  
**cutest min:** for once

 **chicken man:** fists UP

 **cutest min:** GO

  


**park jaehyung & sex guru ** **  
** **(5.32pm)**

**park jaehyung:** can we make this an official chat  
**park jaehyung:** so i can see what you named me  
**park jaehyung:** lovingly i bet  
**park jaehyung:** thinking of my beautiful d

 **sex guru:** why are you messaging me

 **park jaehyung:** bc youre my sex guru

 **sex guru:** fuck no

 **_[park jaehyung created chat with “sex guru”]_ ** **_  
_ ** **_[sex guru changed park jaehyung’s name to “DO NOT REPLY”]_ **

**DO NOT REPLY:** im offended

 **sex guru:** so am i

 **DO NOT REPLY:** my convos with u  
**DO NOT REPLY:** are obvs the best thing  
**DO NOT REPLY:** in your sad life

 **sex guru:** we have had one (1) convo  
**sex guru:** and you just showed me your sexts

 **DO NOT REPLY:** um rude  
**DO NOT REPLY:** my sexts were GOLDNE

 **sex guru:** mmhm  
**sex guru:** yknow  
**sex guru:** when people get a wrong number  
**sex guru:** they dont usually keep talking to them

 **DO NOT REPLY:** what makes u think this was a wrong number

 **DO NOT REPLY:** hello??  
**DO NOT REPLY:** sex guru??

 **DO NOT REPLY:** hey???

 **DO NOT REPLY:** it was a joke

 **DO NOT REPLY:** please dont freak out sex guru  
**DO NOT REPLY:** i dont know you

 **DO NOT REPLY:** hello??

  


**younghyun & sungjin** **  
** **(5.53pm)**

**younghyun:** HELP  
**younghyun:** [ **  
** ](https://i.imgur.com/JR36iVu.png) **younghyun:** help fuck fuck help

 **sungjin:** why the fuck  
**sungjin:** what did you do?  
**sungjin:** is that a saesang?

 **younghyun:** i dont fucking KNOW  
**younghyun:** i got a wrong number last night  
**younghyun:** and i was really tired and just  
**younghyun:** kept texting  
**younghyun:** if this is a fan  
**younghyun:** i said some shit

 **sungjin:** calm down  
**sungjin:** what did you say?

 **younghyun:** i was just fucking around  
**younghyun:** but like  
**younghyun:** messages can be misinterpreted

 **sungjin:** relax  
**sungjin:** block the number  
**sungjin:** if anything comes public  
**sungjin:** deny everything  
**sungjin:** it’s impossible to prove it was you

 **younghyun:** fuck  
**younghyun:** yeah ok  
**younghyun:** think i just lost 10 years  
**younghyun:** thanks 

 **sungjin:** yeah youd be dead without me mmhm

  


**park jaehyung & park bernard** **  
** **(9.01pm)**

**park jaehyung:** i need emotional support

 **park bernard:** no

 **park jaehyung:** hear me out

 **park bernard:** o look at the time  
**park bernard:** bedtime

 **park jaehyung:** a stranger ignored me  
**park jaehyung:** A STRANGER

 **park bernard:** wow how sad

 **park jaehyung:** ugh

  


  
**12k retweets, 21k likes**

  
**11.9k retweets, 21k likes**

 ****  
**12 retweets, 39 likes**

  


**DO NOT REPLY & sex guru** **  
** **(11.29pm)**

**sex guru:** haha sorry  
**sex guru:** had to go suddenly  
**sex guru:** bye

 


	2. smells like teen spirit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this = too much fun
> 
> sorry about the formatting. i tried my best. and got a bit carried away.

 

 

 

**DO NOT REPLY & sex guru ** **  
** **(3.23am)**

**sex guru:** do you ever hate someone   
**sex guru:** for being so right 

**DO NOT REPLY:** i am 100% sure    
**DO NOT REPLY:** you dont wnanna talk to me 

**sex guru:** ur the only person i dont know    
**sex guru:** quick question: whats yr taste in music

**DO NOT REPLY:** john lemon 

**sex guru:** … ignoring that

**DO NOT REPLY:** no seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
**DO NOT REPLY:** what he and yoko ono did    
**DO NOT REPLY:** fucking beautiful    
**DO NOT REPLY:** i love it    
**DO NOT REPLY:** both of them did their best worsk   
**DO NOT REPLY:** while they were together    
**DO NOT REPLY:** *works 

**sex guru:** yoko too? 

**DO NOT REPLY:** listen man    
**DO NOT REPLY:** conceptual art si AMAIZNG

**sex guru:** i never said it wasnt    
**sex guru:** i just asked abt your music taste 

**DO NOT REPLY:** no i want your opinions on    
**DO NOT REPLY:** conceptual art in general and    
**DO NOT REPLY:** yoko ono in particular    
**DO NOT REPLY:** [ **  
** ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/0f/88/81/0f8881b3da66a540f7c723aa620b49f7.jpg) **DO NOT REPLY:** fuckin art man 

**sex guru:** idk much about her    
**sex guru:** i know about cut piece 

**DO NOT REPLY:** fine then    
**DO NOT REPLY:** fav song atm    
**DO NOT REPLY:** dont think just GO

**sex guru:** smells like teen spirit  
**sex guru:** i'm listening to it rn haha  


**DO NOT REPLY:** nirvana   
**DO NOT REPLY:** sweet bro 

**sex guru:** *kurt cobain headbangs* 

**DO NOT REPLY:** opinions on    
**DO NOT REPLY:** foo fighters 

**sex guru:** dave grohl is my main man 

**DO NOT REPLY:** sex guru,,,, i love you,,, 

**sex guru:** this name makes me feel unclean 

**_[DO NOT REPLY changed sex guru’s name to “smells”]_ **

**DO NOT REPLY:** better. much better

**smells:** i actually hate you so much 

**DO NOT REPLY:** nope i brighten up your day 

**_[smells changed DO NOT REPLY’s name to “yoko duo”]_ **

**yoko duo:** FUCK YAAAAAAAAAAA

**smells:** but like whats your opinion on modern music   
**smells:** like idk   
**smells:** like that new idol    
**smells:** whats his name    
**smells:** young something 

**yoko duo:** youngk? 

**smells:** yeah thats his name 

**yoko duo:** don’t have much time for him   
**yoko duo:** his lyrics are soO manufactured   
**yoko duo:** so is his music   
**yoko duo:** you can tell he’s had no input    
**yoko duo:** just some mindless mask to sing 

**smells:** so you dont like him 

**yoko duo:** dude are you some fangirl 

**smells:** a) i am a whole Man    
**smells:** b) no never EVER    
**smells:** i think so too    
**smells:** he has no creative control 

**yoko duo:** yeah man it sucks 

  
  


**younghyun & sungjin ** **  
** **(4.58am)**

**younghyun:** do you think i lack creative control 

  
  


**younghyun & sungjin ** **  
** **(7.12am)**

**sungjin:** ?? please tell me you woke up    
**sungjin:** if you stayed up all night    
**sungjin:** you’re dead    
**sungjin:** and you know what i think    
**sungjin:** is that saesang bothering you?

**younghyun:** i blocked them   
**younghyun:** i don’t think they were a saesang    
**younghyun:** but just in case 

**sungjin:** yeah good job   
**sungjin:** you’re doing your best    
**sungjin:** don’t worry so much 

**younghyun:** yeah 

  
  


**smells & yoko duo ** **  
** **(8.36am)**

**yoko duo:** did you fall asleep????   
**yoko duo:** weak ass   
**yoko duo:** #yokoisbest 

**smells:** are you an actual child   
**smells:** wait.. ARE you an actual child 

**yoko duo:** i am a whole Twnety Five 

**smells:** twnety 

**yoko duo:** us adults aint got time to spell   
**yoko duo:** we’re busy……. gettin paid    
**yoko duo:** wait are YOU an actual child   
**yoko duo:** dude if i sent dicc picc to a kid   
**yoko duo:** i could be arrested 

**smells:** chill out man    
**smells:** im a whole Adult 

**yoko duo:** like,,,,, we talkin 80 or 18 here

**smells:** 23 

**yoko duo:** AAAAAAYYYY WE MILLENIALS

**smells:** its too early??? in the morning??? for capslock??

**yoko duo:** consider: its too late at night   
**yoko duo:** morning is a state of mind 

**smells:** have you even slept 

**yoko duo:** you want the real answe    
**yoko duo:** or the answer i’m giving my work

**smells:** real answer 

  
  


**park jaehyung & park bernard** **  
** **(8.41am)**

**park bernard:** did you sleep 

**park jaehyung:** of course!! 11 hours baby

  
  


**yoko duo & smells ** **  
** **(8.42am)**

**yoko duo:** HAH 0 HOURS BITCH 

**smells:** dude    
**smells:** how are you alive 

**yoko duo:** mostly coffee   
**yoko duo:** im gonna go into work and sleep 

**smells:** they let you do that? 

**yoko duo:** what they don’t know wont hurt them

**smells:** you truly do live life   
**smells:** on the edge

**yoko duo:** you’re just jealous   
**yoko duo:** bet you have a job that requires you   
**yoko duo:** to stay awake and shit 

**smells:** wo    w    
**smells:** how did you guESS 

**yoko duo:** sarcasm, sir, does not suit you 

**smells:** yeah w/e    
**smells:** i don’t have to GO to my job for another 4 hours

**yoko duo:** luck y 

**smells:** i make my own hours around this time of year

**yoko duo:** fuk u 

**smells:** nah man    
**smells:** my job sucks    
**smells:** i wanted to go into the industry   
**smells:** i guess you could call me disenchanted now 

**yoko duo:** *singing mcr* 

**smells:** haha yeah 

**yoko duo:** is it weird    
**yoko duo:** if i ask you what your job is   
**yoko duo:** to make you so annoyed @ it 

**smells:** i work with idols 

**yoko duo:** oh   
**yoko duo:** eh euuugh ehhhhhhhhh

**smells:** g2g sleep    
**smells:** my bed calls 

**yoko duo:** sleep well my smell 

**smells:** ew 

  
  


  
  


**shithead & spithead ** **  
** **(12.02pm)**

**shithead:** dowoonie   
**shithead:** i love you    
**shithead:** but why did you change your   
**shithead:** OWN name 

**spithead:** bc we have to rhyme    
**spithead:** is hyung ok?

**shithead:** which hyung

**spithead:** WONPIL 

**shithead:** he’s tired   
**shithead:** dont think he slept 

**spithead:** nah he slept    
**spithead:** im going to get his coffee now   
**spithead:** wanna come with me???????

**shithead:** yeah   
**shithead:** you seen all the stuff on twitter

**spithead:** its that radio guy right????

**shithead:** jae something r other yeah    
**shithead:** he’s kinda funny lmao    
**shithead:** except not when he’s being an ass   
**shithead:** to brian in particualr 

**spithead:** yeah 

**shithead:** *particular

**spithead:** i think hyung takes the lash hard   
**spithead:** cos he knows its true 

**shithead:** i cant take u seriously with the dp 

**_[shithead changed spithead’s name to “dowoonie”]_ ** **_  
_ ** **_[shithead changed their name to “wonpil”]_ **

**wonpil:** but yeah    
**wonpil:** just    
**wonpil:** damage control 

**dowoonie:** sungjin is here anyway 

**wonpil:** ok    
**wonpil:** dare you to get 4 extra espresso shots   
**wonpil:** we can down them in studio

**dowoonie:** how about i get an extra shot in hyungs    
**dowoonie:** AND 4 shots for us 

**wonpil:** now youre talking my talk, kid

**dowoonie:** *fists up* 

  
  


**yoko duo & smells ** **  
** **(12.18pm)**

**yoko duo:** SMELLS    
**yoko duo:** LOOK AT THE COFFEE    
**yoko duo:** MY BOI gurl FAV BROUGHT ME   
**yoko duo:**

******smells:** damn im jealous   
**smells:** my friends got me coffee   
**smells:** and put an extra shot in it   
**smells:** now my brain is on fire    
**smells:**

**yoko duo:** appreciate my hello kitty   
**yoko duo:** superior to your empty cup 

**smells:** i appreciate her    
**smells:** if you drink it are you killing hello kitty

**yoko duo:** OH MY HGOF D

**smells:** you drank it

**yoko duo:** WHAT HAVE I DONE

**smells:** murdered a cat 

**yoko duo:** I CAN NEVER GO BACK 

  
  


**chicken man & cutest min** **  
** **(1.34pm)**

**cutest min:** stop sleeping in your office   
**cutest min:** and stop tweeting    
**cutest min:** about how im your coffee girl    
**cutest min:** or i’ll make you present asc with me

**chicken man:** first of all,,,,,,,

**cutest min:** :)

**chicken man:** Threatened 

**cutest min:** wanna grab lunch?

**chicken man:** yeah    
**chicken man:** yeah sure 

**cutest min:** leave your phone behind   
**cutest min:** i wanna have a Proper Date Lunch 

**chicken man:** i, a whole gay,,

**cutest min:** stfu you idiot    
**cutest min:** Friend Date Lunch 

**chicken man:** your wish is my command 

  
  


**smells & yoko duo ** **  
** **(1.43pm)**

**smells:** the 6o hour anniversary of your opening text   
**smells:** and i still dont know your name    
**smells:** i mean you still dont know mine so,,,   
**smells:** man    
**smells:** work is so boring    
**smells:** my friends drunk 2 espresso shots each    
**smells:** and then passed out    
**smells:** i thought coffee was meant to like   
**smells:** keep you awake    
**smells:** eugh   
**smells:** hi   
**smells:** i’m brian    
**smells:** you are my only lead to sanity    
**smells:** with the coffee musketeers    
**smells:** kill Me Now 

  
  


**smells & yoko duo ** **  
** **(3.12pm)**

**yoko duo:** hi brian  
**yoko duo:** heh   
**yoko duo:** im jae  
**yoko duo:** rip your friends  
**yoko duo:** i'll drink to those 60 hours  
**yoko duo:** and many more to come   


**smells:**  memelord 

 **yoko duo:** now you're talkin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twt](https://twitter.com/sweetlyblue)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/sweetlyblues)
> 
> hope its not. going too fast or ooc or anything. yayyy


	3. chickpea salad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time skips between chapters, btw, in case that wasn't obvious *eek*
> 
> and i fixed the formatting (thanks ninn)

**chickyjae & jamiejimin ** **  
** **(9.32pm)**

**jamiejimin:** you were just giving your opinion   
**jamiejimin:** it’s not you that created the drama   
**jamiejimin:** i will literally kill you if you sulk   
**jamiejimin:** PARK JAEHYUNG 

**chickyjae:** lol who’d sulk   
**chickyjae:** me??????? never 

**jamiejimin:** fffs just go to sleep 

**chickyjae:** already there baby

  
  


**smells & yoko duo ** **  
** **(3.27am)**

**yoko duo:** what do you think 

**smells:** generally or about something in particular 

**yoko duo:** smartass   
**yoko duo:** about music    
**yoko duo:** i mean    
**yoko duo:** do you think critics   
**yoko duo:** have the right to be   
**yoko duo:** so harsh?? if they aren’t   
**yoko duo:** musicians themselves

**smells:** jae    
**smells:** go to sleep 

**yoko duo:** answer the question   
**yoko duo:** BRIAN 

**smells:** (｀Д´)

**yoko duo:** you arent cute 

**smells:** i’m adorable pfft 

**yoko duo:** music   
**yoko duo:** critics    
**yoko duo:** opinions    
**yoko duo:** you work with idols    
**yoko duo:** you know these things

**smells:** why do you ask

**yoko duo:** i saw that radio scandal 

**smells:** omg yeah    
**smells:** that music access presenter    
**smells:** eh    
**smells:** he’s entitled to his opinion   
**smells:** tbh i agree   
**smells:** why??

**yoko duo:** haha   
**yoko duo:** my friend jimin works with him   
**yoko duo:** apparently he’s a dick about it

**smells:** well i think you can be critical    
**smells:** without being a dick    
**smells:** in this case it was honest criticism   
**smells:** the chords DO sound samey 

**yoko duo:** huh   
**yoko duo:** do you think he had the right to   
**yoko duo:** say stuff

**smells:** idk him

**yoko duo:** nobody does    
**yoko duo:** nobodys ever seen his face 

**smells:** oooooo mysterious    
**smells:** he’s on twitter a lot tho

**yoko duo:** ??? is he ?? i didn  t know that lol

**smells:** yeah   
**smells:** he’s kinda funny    
**smells:** sometimes annoying

**yoko duo:** lol i dont have a twitter    
**yoko duo:** lol 

**smells:** you’re acting weird    
**smells:** its late    
**smells:** you should be asleep

**yoko duo:** right back atcha buddy 

**smells:** can’t sleep 

**yoko duo:** what a coincidence 

**smells:** ugh 

**yoko duo:**

**smells:** are you still at work??? dude

**yoko duo:** pls    
**yoko duo:** compliment my face   
**yoko duo:** i got stuck with night shift    
**yoko duo:** just me and the radio    
**yoko duo:** it’s that one random presenter’s hour lol

**smells:** yeah    
**smells:** sometimes i listen in the mornings   
**smells:** he has a nice voice    
**smells:** even if he’s usually insulting me

**yoko duo:** insulting you????// what???????

**smells:** ahahahahaha    
**smells:** i meant    
**smells:** i meant ***youngk    
**smells:** hit send too early lol 

**yoko duo:** yeah    
**yoko duo:** lol 

**smells:** go to sleep though for real    
**smells:** im sure nobody will notice   
**smells:** its night shift after all 

**yoko duo:** nah it’ll only be for a while   
**yoko duo:** why cant you sleep? 

**smells:** [](https://img1.etsystatic.com/143/0/6070626/il_340x270.1235828245_b0kl.jpg) **  
** **smells:** trying to write   
**smells:** failing   
**smells:** obviously 

**yoko duo:** why?

**smells:** i wanna write good stuff    
**smells:** but i gotta write stuff    
**smells:** stuff that radio guy would hate lmao 

**yoko duo:** ://// brian   
**yoko duo:** someday youre gonna    
**yoko duo:** fuckin rule the world   
**yoko duo:** with your music   
**yoko duo:** i’ll be your biggest fan 

**smells:** yeah    
**smells:** thatd be the dream 

**yoko duo:** shit gotta go

**smells:** sleep????   
**smells:** jae????   
**smells:** sleep well 

**smells:** and thanks 

  
  


**park jaehyung & kim woojin** **  
** **(3.30am)**

**kim woojin:** hey bby   
**kim woojin:** how about we pick up   
**kim woojin:** where we left off last time   
**kim woojin:** ;) you wanna send pics    
**kim woojin:** or you wanna come over to mine?

  
  


 

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/obypEsb.png)

 

 

  
  


**dowoonie & wonpil ** **  
** **(11.13am)**

**wonpil:** he’s smiling   
**wonpil:** at his phone   
**wonpil:** do you know this

**dowoonie:** i asked    
**dowoonie:** i mean    
**dowoonie:** i TrieD 

**wonpil:** dude    
**wonpil:** du  d    e    
**wonpil:** hyung could be in LOVe 

**dowoonie:** or he could be    
**dowoonie:** beating angry birds

**wonpil:** have you ever seen anyone    
**wonpil:** ANY ONE    
**wonpil:** this happy about angry birds

**dowoonie:** yes?????   
**dowoonie:** you???????????/

**wonpil:** fight me 

**dowoonie:** lol    
**dowoonie:** B) 

**wonpil:** look over his shoulder 

**dowoonie:** i cant    
**dowoonie:** cmon he’s like    
**dowoonie:** actually inspired today    
**dowoonie:** let’s mess with his love life after 

**wonpil:** B u     t 

**dowoonie:** music 

**wonpil:** suddenly i cant read

**dowoonie:** .. pls    
**dowoonie:** sungjin hyung looks like he’s gonna blow 

  
  


**#pray4youngk support group** **  
** **(11.18am)**

**sungjin:** all of you   
**sungjin:** get off your fuckin g phones   
**sungjin:** we have to write MUSIC 

**wonpil:** sorry hyung

**dowoon:** sorry hyung

**BRIAN:** sorry 

**sungjin:** :) 

**BRIAN:** hyung 

**sungjin:** :’) 

**wonpil:** woah hyung get off your phone 

**sungjin:** @wonpil    
**sungjin:** youre now officially on coffee duty for us all 

  
  


**dowoonie & wonpil ** **  
** **(11.20am)**

**dowoonie:** HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAH   
**dowoonie:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH   
**dowoonie:** HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA

  
  


**#pray4youngk support group** **  
** **(11.21am)**

**sungjin:** so are you @dowoon

  
  


**dowoonie & wonpil ** **  
** **(11.22am)**

**wonpil:** i will be the better person   
**wonpil:** and only send 1 haha   
**wonpil:** HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

  
  


**kevin & jiminie** **  
** **(1.04pm)**

**kevin:** have u told him yet 

**jiminie:** i keep trying to   
**jiminie:** he thinks i’m joking

**kevin:** … 

**jiminie:** 3 months yet    
**jiminie:** we don’t know how the contract   
**jiminie:** will renew

**kevin:** we aLL know he’s suitable

**jiminie:** he values his face 

**kevin:** so do i 

**jiminie:** mmhm

**kevin:** we’ll all go out today    
**kevin:** lunch 

  
  


**the three musketeers and bernard** **  
** **(1.08pm)**

**musketeer kev:** so 

**and bernard:** i hate this name    
**and bernard:** i hate this life    
**and bernard:** i hate kevin 

**musketeer kev:** stfu 

**musketeer jimin:** we’re all gonna go get lunch

**musketeer jae:** i’m tired tho

**and bernard:** me too 

**musketeer kev:** did we say this was negotiable

**musketeer jimin:** no backing out   
**musketeer jimin:** on pain of death 

**musketeer jae:** i will take Death    
**musketeer jae:** with a side order of large fries   
**musketeer jae:** to go please 

**and bernard:** i’ll have some of the same 

**musketeer kev:** i hate you 

**musketeer jimin:** CMON    
**musketeer jimin:** GET MOTIVATED    
**musketeer jimin:** LETS GET    
**musketeer jimin:** FOOD 

**musketeer jae:** lets get SALAD 

**and bernard:** nO !

**musketeer jimin:** NO !!!!

**musketeer kev:** lets get burritos 

**musketeer jae:** lets get Death 

**and bernard:** yeah

**musketeer jimin:** lets just leave the building   
**musketeer jimin:** before i kill someone 

**musketeer kev:** ok hell yeAH 

  
  


**smells & yoko duo** **  
** **(1.51pm)**

**smells:** [](http://331mrnu3ylm2k3db3s1xd1hg.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Sprudge-JoshHaraInstagram-AnnaBrones-Josh-Hara-6.jpg) **  
** **smells:** we sent our friends out to get us coffee    
**smells:** and they brought me this    
**smells:** should i be offended 

**yoko duo:** no that is GLORIOUS   
**yoko duo:** [](http://3ztzui4amtxs1wdjlrh1061b.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/6-Israeli-Couscous-Salad-.jpg) **  
** **yoko duo:** my friends dragged me out   
**yoko duo:** for SALAD   
**yoko duo:** i was JOKING about the salad 

**smells:** #ripjae   
**smells:** you lived a good life 

**yoko duo:** read my eulogy    
**yoko duo:** wld you cry at my funeral 

**smells:** absolutely    
**smells:** i’d bawl

**yoko duo:** scatter salad on my coffin

**smells:** im writing the speech rn 

**yoko duo:** hell yeah

**smells:** i knew him but like a dream, he was a    
**smells:** breath of fresh air, and now the    
**smells:** chickpeas and avocados have taken him   
**smells:** rip jae 1992 - 2017 

**yoko duo:** im tearing up    
**yoko duo:** brian    
**yoko duo:** BEAUTIFUL 

**smells:** i know    
**smells:** like me 

**yoko duo:** smoooooth   
**yoko duo:** wait no    
**yoko duo:** you just flirted with yourself 

**smells:** uh, yeah, ,, , 

**yoko duo:** uh,,,,, rude, 

**smells:** how so 

**yoko duo:** [](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/60/65/8f/60658f5f384f11ca67d7d706a2c97955.jpg) **  
** **yoko duo:** flirt with this face instead   
**yoko duo:** muuuuuuch better

**smells:** yknow   
**smells:** sometimes 

**yoko duo:** sometimes I RUN    
**yoko duo:** sometimes I HIDE 

**smells:** sometimes i forget we’re friends bc    
**smells:** you can’t sext    
**smells:** and then i suddenly Remember 

**yoko duo:** friends 

**smells:** i text you more than i text my mum   
**smells:** Yes Friends

**yoko duo:** hell YEET

**smells:** google how to take back friendship 

**yoko duo:** HAH BITCH SERVICE NON REFUNDABLE 

**smells:** *googling intensifies* 

**_[yoko duo changed their name to “friend!!”]_ **

**smells:** that looks sad    
**smells:** if someone looks over my shoulder    
**smells:** they’ll think i’m excited about my 1 friend

**friend!!:** but you are excited

**smells:** am i 

**friend!!:** y e s    
**friend!!:** accept it    
**friend!!:** smells

**smells:** i hate that name almost as much as brian

**friend!!:** too bad    
**friend!!:** smells, mon amigo,    
**friend!!:** you is suck wif it 

**smells:** pls stop 

**friend!!:** NEVA

  
  


**smells & friend!!** **  
** **(3.15pm)**

**_[smells changed friend!!’s nickname to chickpea salad]_ **

  
  


**smells & chickpea salad** **  
** **(3.34pm)**

**chickpea salad:** is it bc i look like a chicken   
**chickpea salad:** 2 can play at this game    
**chickpea salad:** did you know your name   
**chickpea salad:** can be misspelt creatively 

**_[chickpea salad changed smells’ name to “brain”]_ **

**chickpea salad:** HAH

  
  


**park jaehyung & kim woojin** **  
** **(5.05pm)**

**park jaehyung:** aha   
**park jaehyung:** yeah sure    
**park jaehyung:** my place or yours? 

  
  


**sungjin HYUNG & wonchill** **  
** **(5.11pm)**

**wonchill:** hyungie

**sungjin HYUNG:** ?? 

**wonchill:** do you know why brian smiles at his phone 

**sungjin HYUNG:** you noticed too    
**sungjin HYUNG:** ok good i thought i was losing it

**wonchill:** dowoonie doesn’t think there’s a girl   
**wonchill:** or a boy    
**wonchill:** but my spidey senses are tingling 

**sungjin HYUNG:** is that why you two    
**sungjin HYUNG:** were super weird today 

**wonchill:** uh yeah duh    
**wonchill:** we’re the picture of grace otherwise 

**sungjin HYUNG:** yeah of course you are    
**sungjin HYUNG:** lemme do some digging 

**wonchill:** youre the best hyung 

**sungjin HYUNG:** yeah yeah yeah butter me up some more 

**wonchill:** o great hyung,,,,,,,

**sungjin HYUNG:** ah, yes, bathing in praise, so good,    
**sungjin HYUNG:** i’ll get to the bottom of this    
**sungjin HYUNG:** younghyun will tell me everything 

**wonchill:** help us sungjin hyungie    
**wonchill:** you’re our only hope

**sungjin HYUNG:** i’ll be sneaky    
**sungjin HYUNG:** and work out who the lucky person is 

  
  


**dowoonie & wonpil** **  
** **(5.16pm)**

**wonpil:** hyung’s on the job

**dowoonie:** time to invade hyungs personal life    
**dowoonie:** i love it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plot (?) thickens (?)


	4. love meddlers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> emmy, trying to juggle several plot points and keep them all relevant,

**park jaehyung & kim woojin ** **  
** **(11.52pm)**

**kim woojin:** do u know what id do to you   
**kim woojin:** if i was there 

**park jaehyung:** how abt you tell me

**kim woojin:** what are you wearing rn 

  
  


**brain & chickpea salad ** **  
** **(11.54pm)**

**chickpea salad:** do u ever just… no 

**brain:** um   
**brain:** context 

**chickpea salad:** i am Being Sexted At

**brian:** less context 

**chickpea salad:** i aint in the mood

**brain:** then just tell Sexter that 

**chickpea salad:** .. for a brain, u are stupid 

  
  


**park jaehyung & kim woojin ** **  
** **(11.55pm)**

**park jaehyung:** [   
](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DMsAgCjXUAIQpQa.jpg:large) **park jaehyung:** why what would you like me to be wearing 

**kim woojin:** preferably    
**kim woojin:** nothing    
**kim woojin:** my bedsheets 

  
  


**brain & chickpea salad ** **  
** **(11.56pm)**

**brain:** just say you arent in the mood you dork

**chickpea salad:** too late i sent pics

**brain:** but if you arent in the mood   
**brain:** h o w 

**chickpea salad:** not explicit pics **  
****chickpea salad:**

**brain:** ok but you’re just. cute there    
**brain:** nothing sexty 

**chickpea salad:** did u call me cute you flirt 

**brain:** you know what    
**brain:** i dont get paid enough to put up with this 

  
  


**park jaehyung & kim woojin ** **  
** **(11.57pm)**

**park jaehyung:** haha o rly

**kim woojin:** want me to come over? 

**park jaehyung:** um

  
  


**brain & chickpea salad ** **  
** **(11.57pm)**

**chickpea salad:** google how 2 get out of sex 

**brain:** TELL THEM NO FO R  GO Ds  SAKE s

**chickpea salad:** BUT CONSIDER   
**chickpea salad:** he’s like. easy to offend   
**chickpea salad:** i dnt wanna be bothered   
**chickpea salad:** with the Emotional Fallout  
**chickpea salad:** i wanna be a nice person 

 **brian:**  you can be a nice person and not have sex  
**brain:** so fuck that tell him your brother  
**brain:** has suddenly had an issue with his gf  
**brain:** maybe another night   
**brain:** then send him a shot of u with your shirt off  
**brain:** give him something for the wank bank 

**chickpea salad:** youre the best brain 

  
  


**park jaehyung & kim woojin ** **  
** **(11.58pm)**

**park jaehyung:** shi T  

**kim woojin:** babe? 

**park jaehyung:** my wor k jus tcalled    
**park jaehyung:** im o  s o sorry i gotta take it

**kim woojin:** .. raincheck then

**park jaehyung:** yeah fuc k yeah 

**kim woojin:** k 

  
  


**brain & chickpea salad ** **  
** **(11.59pm)**

**brain:** u ok? 

**chickpea salad:** yeah    
**chickpea salad:** gah    
**chickpea salad:** im just too tired to do that 

**brain:** yeah i get it 

**chickpea salad:** drained 

**brain:** its that time of year    
**brain:** work? 

**chickpea salad:** yeah    
**chickpea salad:** and you? 

**brain:** yeah    
**brain:** its all so crazy    
**brain:** tbh i even look forward to your stupid texts 

**chickpea salad:** i feel honoured

**brain:** dont make it weird

**chickpea salad:** TOO LATE    
**chickpea salad:** but honestly same man    
**chickpea salad:** you’re cool 

**brain:** you just    
**brain:** you’re cool too    
**brain:** glad you sent the wrong number your dick

**chickpea salad:** you’re cute brain   
**chickpea salad:** glad to have you around

 

 

~~~~  
  


 

 

**the three musketeers and bernard** **  
** **(8.56am)**

**musketeer jae:** why does my phone tell me kev is quitting   
**musketeer jae:** h u h 

**musketeer jae:** oi 

**musketeer jae:** i know you’re reading all these 

**musketeer jae:** FINE THEN I DONT NEED ATTENTION ANYWAY

**and bernard:** now look    
**and bernard:** you annoyed the toddler 

**musketeer jae:** FUCK YOU BERNARD YOURE NOT EVEN    
**musketeer jae:** A MUSKET E R

**and bernard:** neither was d artagnguy 

**musketeer jae:** u g h 

 

  
  


 

**the love meddlers** **  
** **(11.02am)**

**meddler in chief:** i hate this    
**meddler in chief:** we’re all grown men 

**wonmeddler:** speak for yourself 

**domeddler:** i’m a grown man 

**wonmeddler:** you’re a love meddler 

**meddler in chief:** guys just. dont text during work   
**meddler in chief:** brians in a good mood 

**wonmeddler:** yeah i WONDE R  W H  Y 

**domeddler:** ITS THE MYSTERY GUY 

**wonmeddler:** dowoonie    
**wonmeddler:** it rhymed    
**wonmeddler:** i could cry 

**domeddler:** im the rhyme to your rhythm

**meddler in chief:** flirt in your own time NOT MINE 

**wonmeddler:** sorry hyung

**domeddler:** mmhm sorry 

  
  


**#pray4youngk support group** **  
** **(11.04am)**

**BRIAN:** why are you all texting   
**BRIAN:** if youve excluded me   
**BRIAN:** i’ll write a break up song 

**wonpil:** you’re texting too tho @@suspicious

**sungjin:** just fucking. work    
**sungjin:** cmon    
**sungjin:** comeback is so soon   
**sungjin:** b r i a n    
**sungjin:** this is your big break 

**BRIAN:** yeah    
**BRIAN:** then quit texting and lets get to it 

**sungjin:** oh my god 

**dowoon:** (you can hear the sound??) 

**wonpil:** (thats hyung’s soul leaving his body)

**sungjin:** >:O   
**sungjin:** cmon i wanna have my break at the weekend as much as you do

**BRIAN:** agreed 

**dowoon:** family time    
**dowoon:** woohoo

**sungjin:** so put your. phone. away Y    
**sungjin:** you meddling fiend

**wonpil:** haha meddling

  
  


**cutest min & chicken man ** **  
** **(12.24pm)**

**chicken man:** whos replacing kevin   
**chicken man:** is kevin even leaving

**cutest min:** ive been telling you for months??

**chicken man:** !!! i thought you were joking!!!! 

**cutest min:** oh m yg od 

  
  


**chickpea salad & brain ** **  
** **(3.39pm)**

**brain:** how was work 

**chickpea salad:** tha t message was Too Domestic 

**brain:** fffjf    
**brain:** im going home    
**brain:** well    
**brain:** to my parents house in ilsan    
**brain:** i feel all domestic 

**chickpea salad:** !! are you my texting husband!! 

**brain:** for the sake of argument,, Yes 

**chickpea salad:** i have failed u    
**chickpea salad:** all these years of marriage    
**chickpea salad:** ive never kissed u goodbye in the morning

**brain:** we have known each other for like. 3 months 

**chickpea salad:** whirlwind romance 

**brain:** yeah sure i mean with a face like yours who wouldnt 

**chickpea salad:** *gasp*

**brain:** *wink, wink, wink, fall over table, wink, wink*

**chickpea salad:** smooth AND a charmer 

**brain:** o yeah    
**brain:** but how was WOrk    
**brain:** your dAY

**chickpea salad:** real answer    
**chickpea salad:** or 

**brain:** when have i ever wanted the work answer 

**chickpea salad:** someone’s leaving i think    
**chickpea salad:** and its kinda    
**chickpea salad:** weird yknow?? 

**brain:** you work closely together?? 

**chickpea salad:** yeah    
**chickpea salad:** we usually get lunch or something    
**chickpea salad:** dinner at someones house once a week    
**chickpea salad:** its so weiiiird   
**chickpea salad:** am i raining on your domestic parade 

**brain:** no this is good husbanding    
**brain:** i comfort my Husband    
**brain:** in return for his company 

**chickpea salad:** you’re,,,, such a fluffball 

**brain:** do you feel okay abt it though??

**chickpea salad:** yeah i do    
**chickpea salad:** its just a bit weird    
**chickpea salad:** i think they want me to do his job

**brain:** eeeek    
**brain:** im sure you’ll make the right choice    
**brain:** youre smart about stuff 

**chickpea salad:** awh    
**chickpea salad:** go have fun with your parents    
**chickpea salad:** youre the best 

**brain:** i will    
**brain:** (youre the best) 

  
  


**chickpea salad & brain ** **  
** **(4.51pm)**

**brain:** i went on a walk    
**brain:** i saw this and thought of you    
**brain:**

**chickpea salad:** WHAT A GOOD DO G 

**brain:** i know!!!

**chickpea salad:** did you pet him!!! from me!!! 

**brain:** i petted him   
**brain:** he licked my face    
**brain:** its never been more worth it 

**chickpea salad:** your parents house?? blessed w/dogs

 

 

  
  


 

**chickpea salad & brain ** **  
** **(5.30pm)**

**chickpea salad:** **  
** **chickpea salad:** tfw youre bored waiting for your shift to start 

**brain:** lmao 

  
  


**younghyun & sungjin ** **  
** **(5.31pm)**

**younghyun:** i have a dilemma   
**younghyun:** there’s this really pretty person right 

**sungjin:** … oh my god 

  
  


**the love meddlers** **  
** **(5.31pm)**

**meddler in chief:** **  
** **meddler in chief:** youre welcome 

  
  


**younghyun & sungjin ** **  
** **(5.32pm)**

**sungjin:** why is that a dilemma? 

**younghyun:** he’s TOO PRETTY    
**younghyun:** like. hes . stu nningly pretty

**sungjin:** … again, where’s the problem 

**younghyun:** i ll tell you   
**younghyun:** in a while 

**sungjin:** .. is it abt the industry?    
**sungjin:** is it bc youre an idol?    
**sungjin:** brian    
**sungjin:** you know you dont have to conform   
**sungjin:** you know we’d stay with you no matter what 

**younghyun:** yeah i know    
**younghyun:** you’re the best 

**sungjin:** yeah, i know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plot (?) drifts out of character (?)


	5. more cute dogs

 

**best hyung & best dongsaeng ** **  
** **(11.32am)**

**best hyung:** can you bring me coffee too    
**best hyung:** i mean if youre getting some

**best dongsaeng:** yeah!!!    
**best dongsaeng:** extra marshmallows right 

**best hyung:** yuppp   
**best hyung:** you’re the best 

**best dongsaeng:** its in my name hyung B) 

**best hyung:** also:   
**best hyung:** opinions 

**best dongsaeng:** on the Plan for Brian

**best hyung:** yupp

**best dongsaeng:** me and wonpil think its a good idea   
**best dongsaeng:** i mean like   
**best dongsaeng:** hyungs always down abt    
**best dongsaeng:** how limited he is with creativity

**best hyung:** yeah

**best dongsaeng:** if a pretty boy makes him happy   
**best dongsaeng:** its my JOB to get them happy    
**best dongsaeng:** brians coming home tomorrow right?

**best hyung:** yeaH    
**best hyung:** hopefully he feels better after the trip   
**best hyung:** yknow    
**best hyung:** youre sometimes smart 

**best dongsaeng:** “sometimes” 

**best hyung:** dont push it dowoonie   
**best hyung:** but    
**best hyung:** agreed 

**best dongsaeng:** :’) 

**best hyung:** :”)

  
  


**chickpea salad & brain ** **  
** **(1.21pm)**

**brain:** [](http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8437/8006156473_7b98f5ff01.jpg)   
**brain:** i get to walk my parents dog before i go back    
**brain:** jealous

**chickpea salad:** very ver y  j e l l y    
**chickpea salad:** i love doggo    
**chickpea salad:** it hasnt been the same without you brain

**brain:** .. mmhm

**chickpea salad:** how can i complain   
**chickpea salad:** abt having to get up early    
**chickpea salad:** when you’re on HOLIDAY

**brain:** its been 5 days   
**brain:** you’re so,,,, needy

**chickpea salad:** [](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/ed/c5/ea/edc5ea23a4a0f13eef03d56ece27dbfa--puppy-eyes-jae-park-day.jpg)   
**chickpea salad:** ^^ me, sad,    
**chickpea salad:** bc my brain abandoned me

**brain:** you’re so extra

**chickpea salad:** does it fill your heart with fondness   
**chickpea salad:** are you smiling fondly at your phone rn 

  
  


**the love meddlers** **  
** **(1.25pm)**

**domeddler:** guess who i saw    
**domeddler:** at the coffeeshop in the company building   
**domeddler:** looking VERy pleased   
**domeddler:** ft iced tea and his phone   
**domeddler:**  
  


**chickpea salad & brain ** **  
** **(1.26pm)**

**brain:** lol no    
**brain:** i am just getting coffee   
**brain:** resting face on

**chickpea salad:** hmmmmmm   
**chickpea salad:** i have my doubts

**brain:** nerd 

  
  


**the three musketeers and bernard** **  
** **(1.27pm)**

**and bernard:** @musketeer jae    
**and bernard:** pd wants to talk to you   
**and bernard:** and you    
**and bernard:** @musketeer kev 

**musketeer jae:** u g h 

**musketeer kev:** hhhhhhhhhhhh

  
  


**chickpea salad & brain ** **  
** **(1.28pm)**

**chickpea salad:** sorry!! g 2 g

**brain:** talk later    
**brain:**

  
  


**park jaehyung & kim woojin ** **  
** **(6.19pm)**

**kim woojin:** how about that raincheck

**park jaehyung:** not tonight    
**park jaehyung:** work stuff 

**kim woojin:** yeah   
**kim woojin:** figures 

**park jaehyung:** im not 24/7 free yknow

**kim woojin:** yeah   
**kim woojin:** didnt say you were 

**park jaehyung:** don’t be pissed when i pass u up   
**park jaehyung:** to keep my job

**kim woojin:** im not pissed

**park jaehyung:** sure 

**park jaehyung:** ?? woojin? 

**park jaehyung:** ok 

  
  


**chickpea salad & brain ** **  
** **(6.25pm)**

**chickpea salad:** @the world: why

**brain:** @jae: why 

**chickpea salad:** gah    
**chickpea salad:** booty call numero uno    
**chickpea salad:** is mad AND i have night shift 

**brain:** :(   
**brain:** im working through the night too   
**brain:** companions in dark loneliness?

**chickpea salad:** hell yeah 

 

  
  


**chickpea salad & brain ** **  
** **(1.32am)**

**brain:** this radio guy gives NO fucks

**chickpea salad:** o r u listening too 

**brain:** yeah just background noise    
**brain:** hes pretty cool   
**brain:** makes some good points

**chickpea salad:** ye

**brain:** wish he could be a bit more   
**brain:** idk understanding    
**brain:** of peoples situations   
**brain:** yknow idols and stuff

**chickpea salad:** ye

**brain:** are you typing 1 handed or smth   
**brain:** ooo i love this song 

**chickpea salad:** lol no sorry    
**chickpea salad:** had to finish a segment for work   
**chickpea salad:** taking like a 3min break now 

**brain:** o cool   
**brain:** i know you dont like this radio guy 

**chickpea salad:** huh???

**brain:** whatsisname   
**brain:** on music access

**chickpea salad:** ohhhhhh

**brain:** honestly i agree with him   
**brain:** especially about youngk    
**brain:** its disgraceful    
**brain:** that this sort of pandering shit    
**brain:** is just. sold to make money    
**brain:** where’s the contribution from the act? 

**chickpea salad:** yeah!!!    
**chickpea salad:** i think i agree too 

**brain:** i just wish   
**brain:** things could be different 

**chickpea salad:** hey tho its ok   
**chickpea salad:** at least neither of us    
**chickpea salad:** are shitty industry puppets    
**chickpea salad:** and someday you’ll write your music

**brain:** write my own stuff and perform it hopefully

**chickpea salad:** YOU DIDNT teLL ME you SUNG

**brain:** not very well    
**brain:** what are your hobbies except dogs and sexting

**chickpea salad:** uhhhh   
**chickpea salad:** i play guitar a bit    
**chickpea salad:** sing too 

**brain:** we should form a band 

**chickpea salad:** the spicy sexters thats our name

**brain:** only 1 of us is a sexter 

  
  


**chickpea salad & brain ** **  
** **(1.49am)**

**chickpea salad:** soz work called me again

**brain:** its ok    
**brain:** gah    
**brain:** g a h 

**chickpea salad:** same 

**brain:** i cant type rn    
**brain:** do you   
**brain:** idk    
**brain:** wanna call?? 

  
  


**chickyjae & cutest min ** **  
** **(1.49am)**

**chickyjae:** i fucked uuuuup   
**chickyjae:** im so stupidddddddddd

  
  


**chickpea salad & brain ** **  
** **(1.49am)**

**chickpea salad:** i would love to    
**chickpea salad:** but my boss would hear me    
**chickpea salad:** :((( sorry brain

**brain:** lol nah its ok   
**brain:** some other time???

**chickpea salad:** yeah maybe 

  
  


**sungjin & younghyun ** **  
** **(1.50am)**

**younghyun:** i fucked uuuuuuuuuuuuuuup    
**younghyun:** im such an idiot

  
  


**chickpea salad & brain ** **  
** **(1.50am)**

**brain:**  do we go back 2 work then

**chickpea salad:** i mean    
**chickpea salad:** we could just distract each other    
**chickpea salad:** wo w that came out wrong

**brain:** r u gonna sext me again   
**brain:** bc i gotta get emotionally ready 

**chickpea salad:** lol 

**brain:** lol 

**chickpea salad:** shiittttt g2g back work

**brain:** see ya 

  
  


**chickyjae & cutest min** **  
** **(1.51am)**

**chickyjae:** im SERIOUS LY    
**chickyjae:** SUCH A FUCKIGN IDIOT

  
  


**younghyun & sungjin ** **  
** **(1.51am)**

**younghyun:** IM JUST SO    
**younghyun:** IM SO FUCKI G STUPI D

  
  


**chickyjae & cutest min ** **  
** **(7.26am)**

**cutest min:** are you ok?    
**cutest min:** park jaehyung i swear 2 god

  
  


**younghyun & sungjin ** **  
** **(7.59am)**

**sungjin:** oh my god are yu ok   
**sungjin:** is it about the cute boy    
**sungjin:** are you asleep in the studio still   
**sungjin:** ffs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nerds


	6. capitalism is Bad

 

  
  


**chickpea salad & brain ** **  
** **(1.23pm)**

**chickpea salad:** i might be making a bad decision

**brain:** ??? you ok???

**chickpea salad:** oh    
**chickpea salad:** no lol its not srs bsns   
**chickpea salad:** it’s work stuff 

**brain:** :((( thats srs bsns for you tho

**chickpea salad:** yeah i guess   
**chickpea salad:** i want to do this new contract    
**chickpea salad:** but i really like my current job

**brain:** yeah   
**brain:** is it coming up soon???

**chickpea salad:** within a few months    
**chickpea salad:** gahhhhhhhhhhh im scared ngl 

**brain:** why??

**chickpea salad:** it’s more exposed   
**chickpea salad:** tbh i do my job now   
**chickpea salad:** bc it gives me a place   
**chickpea salad:** without me having to    
**chickpea salad:** yknow be in the public eye

**brain:** and with the new one youd be in the public eye?

**chickpea salad:** yeah, a lot    
**chickpea salad:** i like being anonymous   
**chickpea salad:** i like being myself 

**brain:** but exposure won’t stop you being yourself

**chickpea salad:** i guess

**brain:** i mean    
**brain:** because i work with idols   
**brain:** i see that im not myself when im public    
**brain:** but that doesn’t    
**brain:** that doesnt    
**brain:** like

**chickpea salad:** hey its ok

**brain:** no its like   
**brain:** that doesn’t take away from me being myself   
**brain:** in private    
**brain:** you can make a distinction 

**chickpea salad:** i guess it was stupid of me to complain   
**chickpea salad:** to you especially 

**brain:** not at all   
**brain:** its scary    
**brain:** sometimes i wonder    
**brain:** how much of myself i lose in my job

**chickpea salad:** at least youre not an actual idol   
**chickpea salad:** it’s so strict for them 

**brain:** yeah lol at least 

**chickpea salad:** thanks though 

**brain:** none needed

**chickpea salad:** for putting up with my bullshit? lots needed 

**brain:** pfft please    
**brain:** you put up with mine 

**_[chickpea salad changed their name to “soft”]_ **

**_[brain changed soft’s name to “soft chick”]_ **

**brain:** keep the salad alive 

**soft chick:** :’) 

  
  


**cutest min & chickyjae ** **  
** **(1.51pm)**

**cutest min:** kevin is leaving next month   
**cutest min:** meeting tomorrow   
**cutest min:** about your first episode shooting

**chickyjae:** who’ve they got scheduled? 

**cutest min:** you know youngk right 

**chickyjae:** fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

**cutest min:** it isnt confirmed   
**cutest min:** it might be youngk or it could be twice

**chickyjae:** hnnnnnnnnn

**cutest min:** be professional you fuckwad 

**chickyjae:** ?!?!?! rude 

**cutest min:** be professional you fartwad 

**chickyjae:** bernard is my favourite coworker

**cutest min:** be professional you dirty cheat 

**chickyjae:** AHHAHAHAHAH

 

  
  


**soft chick & brain ** **  
** **(5.12pm)**

**_[soft chick changed brain’s name to “soft brain”]_ **

**soft chick:** it feels only right 

  
  


**younghyun & sungjin** **  
** **(5.30pm)**

**younghyun:** i dont wanna do variety shows

**sungjin:** bring it up with the company 

**younghyun:** you ARE the company    
**younghyun:** you’re my manager 

**sungjin:** i’m telling you i told them not to 

**younghyun:** i’m fucking sick of this 

**sungjin:** i know 

**younghyun:** i dont want to do this anymore 

**sungjin:** i know 

**younghyun:** you know they want a new album out    
**younghyun:** by the end of the year 

**sungjin:** i know 

**younghyun:** i cant write love songs    
**younghyun:** over and over and over 

**sungjin:** i’m gonna come round ok 

**younghyun:** yeah    
**younghyun:** yeah please 

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(5.31pm)**

**soft brain:** i hate    
**soft brain:** yknow    
**soft brain:** sometimes i really wish   
**soft brain:** you were real    
**soft brain:** like someone    
**soft brain:** i could invite over    
**soft brain:** for wine and chinese food   
**soft brain:** and watching baywatch   
**soft brain:** and just real stuff 

**soft chick:** you wanna talk about it?    
**soft chick:** maybe someday 

**soft brain:** yeah    
**soft brain:** maybe someday    
**soft brain:** you’re one of my best friends

**soft chick:** and you are to me too   
**soft chick:** i really care about you

**soft brain:** thanks    
**soft brain:** really 

  
  


**the love meddlers** **  
** **(8.27pm)**

**meddler in chief:** if younghyun left   
**meddler in chief:** you two would go with him

**domeddler:** is this even a question

**wonmeddler:** yes of course

**meddler in chief:** new album by december

**domeddler:** but we only just did the last one

**meddler in chief:** i know 

**wonmeddler:** we’d go with him    
**wonmeddler:** for the love and for the work and for the friends

**meddler in chief:** thanks 

  
  


**dowoonie & wonpil** **  
** **(8.34pm)**

**dowoonie:** do you think hyung is ok

**wonpil:** honestly no    
**wonpil:** he doesn’t like where he is   
**wonpil:** neither does sungjinhyung

**dowoonie:** yeah    
**dowoonie:** i’d go with him   
**dowoonie:** he’s got so many tv shows    
**dowoonie:** and radios and stuff

**wonpil:** his only joy: the Love Plan

**dowoonie:** ffs    
**dowoonie:** i mean    
**dowoonie:** if it makes him happy…

**wonpil:** we carry on   
**wonpil:** but tone it down a bit 

**dowoonie:** yuP!!!!!

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(7.47am)**

**soft brain:** you’re the best unknown number ever 

**soft chick:** i, a soft chick, softened

**soft brain:** when Brian becomes a Singer,    
**soft brain:** he’ll write the best song   
**soft brain:** about dicc piccs and friendship

**soft chick:** my favourite subjects

**soft brain:** :’) 

**soft chick:** :’)

 


	7. unsoft

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soz for the long gap ;;

**soft chick & soft brain** **  
** **(2.42am)**

**soft chick:** this is a very unsoft thought   
**soft chick:** but are you ever like,,    
**soft chick:** idk 

**soft brain:** ?? unsoft me 

**soft chick:** hnnnnn

**soft brain:** are you dying

**soft chick:** kinda    
**soft chick:** my fuckbuddy like   
**soft chick:** left    
**soft chick:** 2 monthsish ago   
**soft chick:** im 

**soft brain:** are you tryna tell me    
**soft brain:** you’re sexually frustrated

**soft chick:** …    
**soft chick:** i mean when you put it like that

  
  


**brian & wonPIL IS BEST ** **  
** **(2.47am)**

**brian:** if i was to hypothetically   
**brian:** like   
**brian:** sext    
**brian:** how would i do it 

**wonPIL IS BEST:** oh my fucking god 

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(2.48am)**

**soft brain:** what a dilemma 

**soft chick:** im a growing boy   
**soft chick:** i have needs

**soft brain:** calcium for strong bones & teeth   
**soft brain:** cum for … 

**soft chick:** omfg    
**soft chick:** idk 

**soft brain:** .. wow 

  
  


**brian & wonPIL IS BEST ** **  
** **(2.49am)**

**brian:** i feel so awkward 

**wonPIL IS BEST:** fucking hell this is gold 

**brian:** i wana    
**brian:** idKKKKK

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(2.50am)**

**soft chick:** why, are you getting any   
**soft chick:** is my baby brian growing up

**soft brain:** hahahah   
**soft brain:** uhm    
**soft brain:** i dont have time

**soft chick:** man,, same    
**soft chick:** @adulting why

**soft brain:** tbh all i do is work and sleep and text you

**soft chick:** man,, same x10 

**soft brain:** tbh you’re taking over my life 

**soft chick:** everything you’re saying rn??    
**soft chick:** relatable    
**soft chick:** uuuuugh 

**soft brain:** is this the unsoft    
**soft brain:** were you and ur man    
**soft brain:** like 

**soft chick:** god no    
**soft chick:** he likes me cuz i’m hot    
**soft chick:** and i like him cuz he’s hot 

**soft brain:** is that your only criteria?

**soft chick:** for a good fuck, yeah

**soft brain:** what about for like   
**soft brain:** i dunno 

**soft chick:** someone cute and funny   
**soft chick:** someone it isnt tiring to be around   
**soft chick:** someone i dont need to take a break from   
**soft chick:** that kind of person 

**soft brain:** .. so your dude wasn’t that?? 

**soft chick:** god no    
**soft chick:** dont worry 

**soft brain:** ahahahahahahh why would i worry

**soft chick:** lol idk 

**soft brain:** lol 

**soft chick:** .. bri 

**soft brain:** yeah

**soft chick:** do you reckon    
**soft chick:** someday    
**soft chick:** you could send me a selfie    
**soft chick:** idk if youre not ok with that    
**soft chick:** its cool if you dont wanna   
**soft chick:** i just wanna put a face to you when i think abt you

**soft brain:** you think abt me a lot? lol

**soft chick:** hahahaha    
**soft chick:** no i mean    
**soft chick:** like you’re one of my best friends   
**soft chick:** of course i do

  
  


**jae & jiminie ** **  
** **(2.55am)**

**jae:** abort fucking mission    
**jae:** i hate myself    
**jae:** i hate everything i say   
**jae:** everything i do 

  
  


**soft brain & soft chick ** **  
** **(2.55am)**

**soft brain:** !!?!?!    
**soft brain:** i think you’re one of my best friends too   
**soft brain:** i tell you a lot    
**soft brain:** idk about the selfie    
**soft brain:** maybe someday?? 

**soft chick:** i can live with that!!   
**soft chick:** nnnnn

**soft brain:** so have i killed your unsoft mood or what 

**soft chick:** you could never kill my unsoft mood

**soft brain:** ahahah

**soft chick:** ahahaha

  
  


**jae & jiminie** **  
** **(2.57am)**

**jae:** i hate    
**jae:** MYSELF JIMIN EI  I M    
**jae:** I SAY THE WORDLST THINGS 

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(2.57am)**

**soft brain:** i mean u could never either   
**soft brain:** have you SEEN yourself    
**soft brain:** lol 

**soft chick:** aaaaaaaaaaA  
**soft chick:** wait what is that lol  
**soft chick:** what does it mean  
**soft chick:** hmmMMM  
**soft chick:**

**soft brain:** aaaaaaAAAAAAAA    
**soft brain:** :)   
**soft brain:** it means nothing   
**soft brain:** i stand by what i say   
**soft brain:** have you SEEN yourself 

**soft chick:** yes   
**soft chick:** almost every day 

**soft brain:** you’re not exactly hard on the eyes

**soft chick:** ah yes tell me more 

**soft brain:** listen i could tell you how pretty you are   
**soft brain:** for hours but we all need our sleep 

**soft chick:** mmhm sure 

**soft brain:** :) 

  
  


**brian & wonPIL IS BEST** **  
** **(3.00am)**

**wonPIL IS BEST:** did u fix the problem 

**brian:** no 

**wonPIL IS BEST:** why what happened

**brian:** he sent me a selfie 

**wonPIL IS BEST:** tmi tmi tmi 

**brian:** it was just a normal selfie    
**brian:** thats what makes this worse 

**wonPIL IS BEST:** TOO MUCH INFORMATION 

**brian:** im,,,, so dead    
**brian:** my whole face hurts from smiling

**wonPIL IS BEST:** you’re in deep kiddo 

**brian:** huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhn

**wonPIL IS BEST:**  i hope you washed your hands   
**wonPIL IS BEST:** before texting me

 **brian:** :) 

 **wonPIL IS BEST:** ur fuckig disgus t ig 

 

 

**the love meddlers  
(3.10am) **

**wonmeddler:** yall wont fucking BELIEVE  
**wonmeddler:** what brian just told me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda tryna draw it towards a conclusion. but. technically jae just confessed to bri and didn't even realise he was talking about him, the dork.


	8. central conflict

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's sort but that's totally for dramatic effect and not bc Motivation!

**jae & jiminie ** **  
** **(10.21am)**

**jiminie:** wake up!! first recording today!!

**jae:** i’m awake 

**jiminie:** ok!! come quick!! 

**jae:** yeah 

**jiminie:** pls don’t freak out    
**jiminie:** just be yourself 

**jae:** idk if i want to do this 

**jiminie:** but i’ve already met the act   
**jiminie:** you signed the contract    
**jiminie:** i’ll be there    
**jiminie:** it’ll be ok 

**jae:** yeah    
**jae:** coming 

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(10.30am)**

**soft chick:** i start my new job today 

**soft brain:** are you excited? 

**soft chick:** a little    
**soft chick:** kinda feel ill    
**soft chick:** i know once i get there i’ll be ok   
**soft chick:** it’s way different to what i did before 

**soft brain:** really?? 

**soft chick:** yeah    
**soft chick:** hhhh see you at the other side    
**soft chick:** i gotta be professional in work    
**soft chick:** impress the guest of honour 

  
  


**sungjin & younghyun ** **  
** **(10.32am)**

**sungjin:** this is so unprofessional 

**younghyun:** what 

**sungjin:** apparently the new presenter slept in    
**sungjin:** on YOUR show    
**sungjin:** i’m in a meeting with park jimin    
**sungjin:** discussing interview points 

**younghyun:** should i not also be in that interview 

**sungjin:** no    
**sungjin:** stay in makeup 

**younghyun:** :/// 

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(10.33am)**

**soft brain:** i know you can’t reply    
**soft brain:** but i’m dying here    
**soft brain:** doing the Worst Part of Work 

**soft chick:** lmao    
**soft chick:** i’m run  n in g to wor  k    
**soft chick:** had t o sa y    
**soft chick:** i  sle pt  in 

**soft brain:** hehe smooth 

**soft chick:** i know!!!!!!!!!!!!

**soft brain:** my guy is here now 

**soft chick:** omg the guy im working with    
**soft chick:** is here before me   
**soft chick:** hhhhh i hate how cute he is    
**soft chick:** ew he’s glaring at me?!? what did i do   
**soft chick:** mean ass    
**soft chick:** brian??   
**soft chick:** awh r u actually working 

**soft chick:** brian? 

**soft chick:** ok i gotta work now    
**soft chick:** text you after?? 

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(4.57pm)**

**soft chick:** brian?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao sorry  
> (@softlyblues)


	9. holy fuck

**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(8.34am)**

**soft chick:** are you okay?    
**soft chick:** i’m getting worried   
**soft chick:** text me when you can 

  
  


**younghyun & sungjin ** **  
** **(1.42pm)**

**younghyun:** can u come to the studio 

**sungjin:** its your day off    
**sungjin:** no    
**sungjin:** go back home 

**younghyun:** its important    
**younghyun:** i really really really fucked up    
**younghyun:** please 

**sungjin:** be there in 5 

  
  


**jae & jiminie ** **  
** **(2.19pm)**

**jae:** how early is too early to drink wine

**jimin:** after 6pm its acceptable 

**jae:** loltoo late 

**jimin:** ?? hey   
**jimin:** is this bcos of the show?    
**jimin:** you did great yesterday    
**jimin:** its not your fault youngk looked so weird

**jae:** its not that    
**jae:** my friend hasn’t texted me since yesterday 

**jimin:** … me and bernard have NEVEr texted    
**jimin:** but our friendship isnt suffering?!?! 

**jae:** ive been texting this guy every day for almost a year 

**jimin:** and never told me 

**jae:** idk he’s just    
**jae:** a rly nice friend    
**jae:** but he’s always replied quickly 

**jimin:** do u want me to come over 

**jae:** na h i’l be fine 

**jimin:** sounds fake but ok 

**jae:** oh fuck u uuuuuu

  
  


**the love meddlers** **  
** **(4.45pm)**

**meddler in chief:** lets quit this   
**meddler in chief:** something real shit happened 

**domeddler:** ?? to brian??

**meddler in chief:** yeah    
**meddler in chief:** he’ll probably tell you about it soon   
**meddler in chief:** but yeah 

**wonmeddler:** lips zipped

**meddler in chief:** thanks guys 

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(9.01am)**

**soft chick:** haha i’m really worried man   
**soft chick:** were u in a car crash??

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(9.06am)**

**soft chick:** update: googled brian car crashes in korea   
**soft chick:** no recent results    
**soft chick:** i know you’re not in a car crash    
**soft chick:** i can see the read check mark    
**soft chick:** please tell me what i did man    
**soft chick:** i can fix it??? 

  
  


**younghyun & sungjin ** **  
** **(11.13am)**

**sungjin:** do you wanna leave 

**younghyun:** lol is it that obvious

**sungjin:** that you dont want to be here? yes   
**sungjin:** your contract is up for renewal in feb    
**sungjin:** say it    
**sungjin:** say it right now 

**younghyun:** this is a board meeting not a movie 

**sungjin:** tell him    
**sungjin:** dude this is why your jae didn’t like your music 

**younghyun:** he’s not my jae    
**younghyun:** and its not my music

**sungjin:** brian 

**younghyun:** shut up man the director is talking to you 

**sungjin:** tell him right now 

**younghyun:** what if i like my job huh

**sungjin:** you DONT 

**younghyun:** am i gonna get employment as ex-youngk    
**younghyun:** i dont fucking think so 

**sungjin:** if you dont tell him    
**sungjin:** then i’m fucking quitting    
**sungjin:** this is stupid 

**younghyun:** if you quit your job bc i got the hots for an asshole radio host   
**younghyun:** i swear to god 

**sungjin:** you’re being ridiculous 

**younghyun:** no, YOURE being ridiculous 

**sungjin:** brian    
**sungjin:** brian   
**sungjin:** quit your job and meet the guy for a coffee    
**sungjin:** brian 

**younghyun:** i cant 

**sungjin:** why not   
**sungjin:** why not    
**sungjin:** why not    
**sungjin:** wh   
**sungjin:** fjfjfksmfrkf   
**sungjin:** riNR

  
  


**#pray4youngk support group** **  
** **(11.32am)**

**dowoon:** is it true?!?!

**wonpil:** we’re doing it too 

**dowoon:** are we 

**wonpil:** if they are 

**dowoon:** @hyungs is it true    
**dowoon:** please tell us    
**dowoon:** we want to be dramatic too 

  
  


 

 

 

  


 

**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(9.01am)**

**soft chick:** good morning    
**soft chick:** i’m sorry 

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(3.42pm)**

**soft chick:** i saw a dog just like your parents dog   
**soft chick:** what a Good Dog 

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(9.09am)**

**soft chick:** good morning

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(9.04am)**

**soft chick:** just text me once    
**soft chick:** tell me what i did    
**soft chick:** brian i miss you way more than i should   
**soft chick:** and we never got to drink wine and watch baywatch    
**soft chick:** and shit like that    
**soft chick:** yknow i was looking forward to that    
**soft chick:** seeing you in real life    
**soft chick:** imagine it    
**soft chick:** i wish we could have met    
**soft chick:** i see you reading these 

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(9.02am)**

**soft chick:** imagine if we had    
**soft chick:** met i mean   
**soft chick:** but neither of us realised    
**soft chick:** nvm you know my face you would have said    
**soft chick:** and then i’d know you too 

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(9.03am)**

**soft chick:** morning 

  
  


**soft chick & soft brain ** **  
** **(8.56am)**

**soft brain:** morning    
**soft brain:** good    
**soft brain:** im so sorry    
**soft brain:** there’s a coffeeshop    
**soft brain:** u know the asc studio   
**soft brain:** the coffeeshop down from there    
**soft brain:** if youre free today    
**soft brain:** i’m gonna be there all day 

**soft chick:** holy fuck 

**soft brain:** sorry 

**soft chick:** holy fuck 

**soft brain:** i’ll see you there 

  
  


**jae & jiminie ** **  
** **(9.00am)**

**jae:** HOLY FUCK 

**jiminie:** ?!?!?! 

**jae:** HOLY FUCK    
**jae:** its brian    
**jae:** that guy i’ve been texting 

**jiminie:** good or bad???

**jae:** … actually idk

**jiminie:** wanna hug? and some coffee

**jae:** cant go to the usual place    
**jae:** he’ll be there    
**jae:** just lemme go to work    
**jae:** and then give me hugs please 

**jiminie:** can do    
**jiminie:** love you :( <3 

**jae:** love you too    
**jae:** hOLY FUCK 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao um the next chap is gonna be prose because a) TEXTFIC IS SO HARD TO WRITE and b) they aint gonna be texting each other while they're staring at each other in shock 
> 
> <3 thanks for reading! 
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/sweetlysofts)   
>  [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/sweetlysofts)


	10. aaaand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm too embarrassed abt the length of time its been to even be sorry about it anymore 
> 
> i was gonna make this ch longer but then idk it could have been centuries before it got updated so... Here We Are

Jae can’t stop looking at his phone. All day, all damn day, while Jimin discusses the fucking set design like it  _ matters.  _

Brian is sorry. Brian wants to meet him. 

Brian is sorry. Brian wants to meet him. 

Jimin doesn’t even tell him off for being so spacey; she’s smiling at him, he thinks, and fielding most of the people that want their attention - he’s at the office from nine, in a meeting for two hours - endless hours - spent staring at his phone, and by the time it reaches lunch, he’s so itchy to  _ go  _ that he thinks he might cry. 

“Fuckin’  _ go,  _ then,” Jimin says. Like it’s nothing. She pats him on the hand, all small comforts and a massive grin. “I’ll tell them you’re taking a huge shit, and that’s why you’re taking a few hours in the bathroom.”

_ “Jimin-”  _

“Family emergency, I got it,” Jimin waves her hand. “Trust me, Jae-Jae. Go on.” 

Jae goes. The walk outside the company building has never taken him so long, and the facemasked prowl through the streets has never seemed so endless, and the coffeeshop door has never seemed so terrifying before in his  _ life.  _

It can’t be that hard. He’s been talking to Brian for a year, now, every day for a year, and that means they’re hardly strangers dancing around talking about the weather and the family dog. 

But Brian - 

For two weeks - 

_ Silent.  _ No excuse, no i’m-sorry-my-phone-broke. 

Is this the platonic version of a breakup? 

How do you confess that you’ve grown to adore your wrong number, and you’re not sure how you can continue without him?

Jae stares at the little  _ open  _ sign on the coffeeshop door. 

_ Ugh.  _

He bites his lip, swears on the lives of the first three gods he comes to think of, and walks into the coffeeshop shaking like a leaf, hardly daring to scan the room to try and see who - where - Brian is. This is  _ ridiculous.  _

And anyway, the coffeeshop is hardly crowded. Three girls in school uniform that must be skipping, holding a shoujo manga between them and cooing over all the colour-spread panels. A guy at the window with a black cap and a facemask pulled over his mouth, so that only the bridge of his nose is really visible - and he’s wearing a puffer coat, too, so the whole result is just one big shapeless mess huddled over a coffee mug. 

And nobody else. 

Oh  _ god.  _

Jae orders a hot chocolate, because he’s jittery enough even without the extra caffeine, and drums his fingers on the countertop as he waits for it to be made. Mask Guy is looking at him. 

Mask Guy is almost one-hundred percent certainly Brian. 

Jae’s shaking, really properly shaking. ‘Cos this is worse than any breakup he can think of - those were mutual, and anyway, what was he losing? But if Brian decides to ditch him or dump him or leave him at the wayside…

Jae’s gonna be a trainwreck. A mess. How’s he meant to do it?

The drink is ready far too quickly, and his hand shakes on the tray as he wobbles it over to Mask Guy’s table. “Brian?”

Mask Guy nods. An earring glimmers in the sunlight. Is this hell? Is Jae in hell? Is this what he deserves because he once stole a chocolate bar from his grandmother’s house? 

“Sit down,” Mask Guy - Brian - whispers, muffled into the mask. “Those girls are looking.”

“Jeez, sorry,” Jae grouses, almost forgetting to be scared out of his wits as he takes his seat and picks up a marshmallow to roll it between fingertip and thumb. “I - uh. You’re Brian? I’m Jae. Uh. Is this because I took that job on ASC? And you saw me? Because I swear I’m not an asshole, y’know. Uh. Um.”

In the sucking black hole of silence, he pops the mallow in his mouth and tries to chew like a functional human. 

And, with an almost apologetic look on his face, Brian pulls the mask down to his chin - 

and Kang Younghyun watches as Jae chokes on a marshmallow, his face burning red and his hands flailing wildly. 

“Keep  _ quiet,”  _ whispers Kang Mother Fucking Younghyun, Young K, oh My God Jae Is So Very Very Dead. 

Jae sent his  _ nudes  _ to YoungK. Jae’s been flirting with YoungK. Jae’s been - insulting YoungK to Youngk’s face - he’s been complaining about him - he offered to  _ watch Baywatch and drink wine  _ with  _ Kang Fucking Younghyun. _

“Oh my god,” he hisses, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, oh my god oh my god, I’m such a  _ dick-”  _

Kang Mother Fucking Younghyun sits back in his chair, pretty (don’t think that) eyes looking Jae up and down with a little humor tingued in the corners. “Please don’t die on me. I’d be upset, yknow.”

“Oh my god.” Jae puts his head in his hands and just tries breathing in-out-in-out. “Oh my god - oh my  _ god,  _ the recording last week-!”

Kang Mother Fu- Brian, this is  _ Brian,  _ just hums and nods. “I guess so.”

“You must’ve freaked,” Jae says as soon as he thinks he can trust his voice not to wobble. “God, I’m - fuck, really sorry. Never thought that would really happen. Um. Jeez, I swear I didn’t, like, mean to insult you - you’re, like, one of my best friends, if not my best friend - wait, shit, I can’t tell you that, you’re gonna break up with me-”

“Break up with you?” Brian’s hair is blue. When did that happen? Jae doesn’t keep up with idol fashion any more than he wants to, but two weeks ago, he’s sure it had been brown. 

“Friendship break,” Jae waves his hand vaguely, “I -  _ dude,  _ you’re really important to me, of course i’m scared!”

“Really important?” Brian echoes. 

_ “Really  _ important,” Jae says, stresses, makes his eyes wide, trying to impress the gravity of it onto Brian. “Like - really, really. I dunno where I’d be if I wasn’t your - yknow, friend.”

Brian bites his lower lip absently, and Jae tries not to look. 

“And these past two weeks have been  _ hell-” _

“I’m sorry-”

“Nah, i deserved it. I said some really shitty things about you,” Jae shifts in his chair, and nibbles on another marshmallow just to keep himself occupied. “Some - some  _ really  _ shitty things.”

“Most of them were true,” Brian admits. He’s furtively looking at the girls, but so far they go unnoticed. 

“Not really.”

“Yes, really, you can’t deny everything just because you like me.”

Jae shrugs. 

“I quit, anyway,” Brian says. He looks proud of himself, narrow eyes and pink cheeks under the mask and the cap. “Did you see?”

“On the news, yeah. Jimin was talking about it all morning,” Jae forces himself to be calm, as though he hasn’t been quasi-flirting with  _ Young Fucking K  _ for the better part of a year. 

Oh my  _ god.  _

“It was because of you.”

Okay, yeah, because that’s a great way to calm his beating heart.  _ Be still, my child, there is much to suffer through yet.  _ “Me?”

Brian’s smiling at him, and oh, god, Brian looks cute when he smiles. Jae’s short-circuiting. “You - we talked about doing what we  _ really  _ wanted, and I really want to write my own music.”

“Oh -” and Jae’s piecing it all together, now, “Oh fuck, I’m such an  _ idiot-  _ you were writing tweenybop stuff you didn’t wanna write-”

“I don’t blame you for not liking it,” Brian shrugs. “I don’t like it either.” 

“It’s not  _ bad-”  _

“It’s not good,” Brian says. 

He’s really cute. 

“You’re really cute,” Jae says, because he’s never learnt to keep his mouth shut. “I mean. Uh.”

The three girls in the corner burst out laughing. 

“You’re not too bad yourself,” Brian kicks him under the table, and then whispers  _ “How’s that for a dong on your bell?”  _

And any vestiges of tension flood away, and Jae laughs harder and happier than he’s laughed in two weeks, and Brian laughs along with him until they’re clutching their stomachs and stamping their feet and wiping hot tears from their cheeks. 

Not so bad. 

 

**soft chick & soft brian ** **  
** **(9.42pm)**

**soft chick:** i had fun today 

**soft brian:** so did i :) 

**soft chick:** i’m sorry i was such a dick offhfh

**soft brian:** dont be   
**soft brian:** i alrdy told you    
**soft brian:** it was honest   
**soft brian:** i think   
**soft brian:** if you hadn’t told me    
**soft brian:** i would never have left   
**soft brian:** so thank you 

**soft chick:** does this mean we can    
**soft chick:** do our wine and baywatch plan 

**soft brian:** next week? 

**soft chick:** i’m free thursday 

**soft brian:** it’s a date 

**soft chick:** ;* 

  
  


**younghyun & sungjin** **  
** **(9.56pm)**

**younghyun:** THIS IS DESPERATE    
**younghyun:** WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN SOMEONE SENDS YOU A KISSY FACE 

**sungjin:** aaaaaaaaaaaand we’re back

 

 

**the love meddlers  
(10.01pm) **

**chief meddler:** back on our bullshit guys 

 **domeddler:** WHOOPWHOOP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrappin up soon fellas it's been a long time
> 
> twt @sweetlysofts

**Author's Note:**

> there you go! updates are gonna be irregular because this is something i'm doing just for the Relax Of It but i hope you enjoyed that lil snip 
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/sweetlysofts) (follow me to chat n stuff)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/sweetlysofts) (other chatting outlets) 
> 
> <3


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